Friday, September 7, 2012

A Random Post About Feelings, a Confession, Venting, a Wedding, Choreography, and the New House

For the past few weeks, I have kept trying to start a new post and each time, I realize I'm just not sure what I'm wanting to blog about, so this is just going to be a post of random ramblings.

I have loved the support Eric and I have gotten from friends, family, and strangers with our infertility journey. It has been nice to be open and talk about it with people instead of just keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself. I also have loved that there have been some people who have come to me with their story and thanked me for sharing mine because they can relate. I really wanted to be able to help someone in a similar situation and have been touched by those I've been able to relate to.

So I'm going to confess an awful addiction I have that I, for some reason, torture myself with. I absolutely love watching A Baby Story, Make Room for Multiples, and even more awful, an occasional Teen Mom and shows about teenage pregnancy. Why do I do this to myself, you ask? I have yet to find the answer myself. In fact, I'm watching A Baby Story as I type this- awful, right? Watching A Baby Story and Make Room for Multiples isn't that bad. I love watching the whole experience and seeing those babies fresh from heaven just warms my heart and with the multiples show, many of the couples struggled with infertility and had to have a treatment in order to get the babies here... so I allow myself a 1 minute pity party that I don't have a baby, and then move on. The Teen Mom and other shows about teenage pregnancy, that's where more of the angry feelings come out. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that teens are incapable of being good parents, but it's just super frustrating that so many teenagers, making not so good choices, get to be blessed with the gift of creating life, while married couples, with the love and means to take care of a child, are left with vacant wooms. (Ha get it? room/womb.) I try not to judge, because I know that children are placed where and with whom they are meant to be, but I can't help but be a little jealous and hurt when they say things like, "I wish I would have waited to have sex" and "I wish I didn't have this baby so I could do teenager thing." It's just a slap in the face, ya know? Okay, I'm done venting about that for now.

Being so busy with infertility treatments from October to June, it kind of felt like infertility was our whole life. Everything revolved around weekly, and sometimes daily, doctors appointments and our emotions were all over the place. We wanted to be hopeful, but realistic, then we'd get excited and be so scared, and after every failed treatment we were really sad and then tried to be faithful and patient and hopeful for the next month. Basically infertility took over everything. These past 3 months have been a nice chance to breath and to kind of reconnect with each other. I have had to remind myself that infertility does not define us and that we have so many things to be grateful for, namely each other. Even though going months without any treatments sometimes feels like we're wasting time, we have had other things to focus on. I am so happy I've been able to lose 25 scratch that, 24 pounds (I gained 2lbs last week with going to San Diego and everything, which I'm okay with because I was so sure I gained at least 5, and I've lost 1 of those this week so far) so that has been awesome. I hope to lose about 20 more, but realistically I think 15lb would be good. Maybe when I get brave, I'll post pictures of my before and after.

Well little Chelsea Bea is married off now- She's Chelsea Hansen! So exciting! We love Justin, aka Biebs, and him and Chelsea are so perfect for each other. They got sealed in the San Diego Temple, which was absolutely gorgeous! Her dress was so perfect and everyone loved it! The pictures outside were... well you know how family pictures at weddings go if you've ever experienced it, ha. Our family is a little loud, obnoxious, loving, and so much fun, and the Hansen's, well lets just say our families fit well together! I can't wait to see the pictures, I'm sure they'll turn out great! After the pictures outside the temple, I went with the photographer and Chelsea and Justin to La Jolla beach for pictures. I basically helped fluff her dress and held their shoes and anything else they/the photographer needed. it was gorgeous, and I seriously cannot wait to see how those pictures turned out!
We had an awesome long weekend filled with tons of family, food, swimming, and great times. One of the boys' favorite eats of the weekend was Slaters 50/50. It was so delicious and has been featured a few times on the Food Network. If you haven't hear of it, you should look it up.

I have also been busy with choreographing for my mom's show choir, which I've been doing for like a million years... okay like 8 or 9 years, but still, that's a lot. The show we have been working on as of late is a Tribute to Michael Jackson show, and let me tell you- it's pretty Bad A, if I do say so myself! If you happen to wanna come watch the concert, dinner included, it's on Monday (the 10th) and I can get you the rest of the details if you wanna come. :)

The new house is coming along, for those of you that are interested, and hopefully we'll be able to get to move in pretty soon. We're all ready to get out of this house and have more space, although not necessarily excited to actually pack and move. Another reason is the backyard here. Holy yuck! Last month we realized we have a tick infestation when we found ticks on our dogs, those poor things. They had tons of ticks on them and we ended up taking them to the animal hospital for medications and luckily the property management company paid for it to get sprayed. I'm happy to report that our pups are now tick free thanks to their way too expensive monthly medication, but I know one spray is not gonna keep those suckers (literally) away, so I'm definitely ready to get out.

Welp, that is all I feel like rambling about for now! I'll post some pictures of Chelsea's wedding weekend a little later. Until next post.. :)

1 comment:

  1. As long as it doesn't affect your outlook on life, I think your minute pity parties are ok. You're going through a tough time and you seem to be handling well with family and friends. Aside from that everything sounds great and I'm glad you're doing awesome!